Wearing Thin

Hey everyone.

The passed two days, have been trying, a test of how strong I really am. I think  that i have been dealing with this deployment rather well. I have no choice in the matter so i just push forward, knowing that we are one day closer. However, i have heard from brian in an email, every day since he left 74 days ago. I haven't heard from him in 2 days and its been the hardest 2 days of deployment. We dont know how lucky we are with having communication until we no longer have it. We take the little things for granted. I can promise you, i will value and cherish every single word on every email I recieve from here on out.

Emails are my hugs. My kisses, My good nights. They are what let me know he is safe, and thinking about me and the kids as much as we are thinking about them. They relay are days. They put smiles on our faces, without them, you find yourself a little more emotional and a little more stressed. You find yourself checking your email more than double the normal. I know that i am fortunate that i hear from my husband daily, but it still doesnt matter, without any communication that void is there. that absence is truely felt. you have no link between the two of us. Its gut wrenching.

I have yet to feel that pain. that ache that goes deep into your heart. of missing your husband. of course i miss him but i know its only temporary. I have yet to feel "alone". but it hit me, last night, and even more so today. It hurts. I miss my best friend. I miss my husband. I know that this whining wont bring him home, and i realize this, but we wives that are going through this right now, or have gone through it in the past or will go through it in the future know what this feeling is really about.

So hug your husbands tight. Tell them how much you love them, take in every kiss you get, because there are some of us out there that dont get that, and miss that, and look forward to having that back again someday soon.