The path less traveled......

When you have to sit at home all by yourself every evening while you kids are fast asleep, you find yourself doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. You find yourself looking at the big picture of what god has laid out, and what is in store to come next. You tend to over analyze, and re think every decision. Having free time to yourself is sometimes a burden, because if you are anything like me, that brain, NEVER shuts off. But sometimes, its for good reasons......

Today as I laid on the futon mattress strategically placed in front of the tv, listening to Kendal babbling away in her crib, awaiting that morning kiss and smile.... I just lay there, smiling myself, thinking about how far I have come since I have been by alone with the kids, in 4 and a half short months.... How much growth progress I have made, and Self confidence I have gained. How many hard times and struggles I have had to face head on, and how many life milestones I have seen without the eyes of Brian right next to me. I am proud of myself. I never thought that I couldn't do this, but there are always doubts. When brian is around, I am a very Dependent person. He fixes everything, and He is my GO TO person.....Without him here, you figure out other ways to do things and i have realized how to do things on my own. Although its been a hard, sweat, stress and tear- filled process, its been worth it. Way more than "worth it". I needed this for myself. We've needed it for our marriage. And the kids needed this to see me grow.

Before Brian left for deployment, we done everything as a family. Brian is my right hand man. He equally parents and manages our marriage. I couldn't have picked a better man. But he has always been for himself. He kept his hopes and dreams alive as mine fizzled and unraveled . Before he left we had sat down and talked where i poured out things to him that i had never admitted feeling, i always repressed them to stay strong and stand behind his decisions and be proud of him being so successful. But with me being behind him and pushing him to his goals, my goals and aspirations became a distant thought in my mind, and what was causing the main thought in my mind-- Im only going to be a mother and a wife. I wont have a career to make my children proud of me. What if Keni sees me as "just" a stay at home mom, with no career, serving the family and thats what she would inspire to be? why isnt that good enough for her, but its good enough for me? Brian told me at that point and time that he didnt know i felt that way, but after that conversation was over, i thought that was as far as it was going to go....

While he's been on deployment, he has been doing character building "classes" and "finding" himself. He has encouraged me to go go school, and gave up on his big dreams and settled for smaller, so that we BOTH can be successful, and happy. For him to do this, is huge. For him to think about both of us and not just his "big" picture that the future holds, is leaps and bounds. He is something else. I want to say that Brian is a great family man. His kids and I are his world, but his dreams are very important to him almost more important than family, im not saying that dreams shouldnt be that way, but they are called "dreams" for a reason. And for him to pick something more tangible than being a commercial pilot, so that i can reach my goal of becoming "something", makes me happier than ever to be standing by the husband I have.

So to move on to a different subject since most of you are probably on the verge of vomiting from me talking about my husband, I will change the topic to my amazing children!

When we moved out here, things were different. I was a control freak (as i still am but i will explain why things have changed a bit).... Sladen never had stayed over at someone elses house WITHOUT me before we moved here except maybe once or twice. But its been a weekly thing where he will stay with my parents or brians gram for a night. He thinks that this is the coolest thing since sliced bread and he feels like he is "something else" when i allow him to call them and ask to spend the night. He feels very independent and it has been great for the bonds he has formed with those individuals. As hard as it was at first to let my baby go, the smiles on all their faces when i arrive to pick him up the next day are amazing. To hear him describe in detail what he had done over the course of the previous day makes me beam with pride. I know he loves  me, and he makes me know that by squeezing the life out of me, or shooting me that "thank" you smile when i greet him. I miss him like crazy when he is gone, and i am bored out of my mind, but it is good for him to have other figures in his life to rely on and bond with. The "man" time he gets with my dad takes the place of what brian can't do right now. I am thankful for the amazing support I have around me. With out it, i would have been a goner. the passed 4.5 months has given me so much to be thankful for, and see that there IS a reason this deployment is happening.

When brian left Keni had 4 teeth, working on 6. When he left she was just starting to become a pro at crawling. She also was still on baby food and bottles. Not pulling herself up yet or any of that! My how things have changed. She is going to be a different little girl when daddy lays eyes on her for the first time. I would say she was bald when he left and when he gets back she'll have hair, but then i would be lying. i guess there are some things that dont change!

So i guess what i was trying to write about in this blog was that as a family of 3 right now, we have grown. we have characteristics about ourselves that we didnt have before. We have a sense of independance and growth that we didnt have before. We have a new found love and NEED for Brian. When things get taken away from us, for just this short period of time, it makes us realize who and what we really need in our lives, and it gives us a new sense of appreciation for what we have, and for what we want.

I am thankful for this deployment. I look at it as it was needed. Brian and I had a strong relationship before he left. But we have a new sense of appreciation for eachother. As close to a bullet proof marriage as we can make it, i would say. He can look at me and be proud at the things i have acomplished, and I can do the same for him. I am proud of the man he is. I am proud of what he does for the Navy and for us. I am proud to be married to him for the REST of my life. And dammnit, I am proud of myself as well!

Time marches on!

Hi everyone!

Well, we sure are counting down the time for moving day! My ducks are starting to line up in a row, and soon we will be Virginia Beach bound, for yet another move to add to our list, making slades current total of moves since birth.... drum roll please.......8 moves and he is 4. yes my friends, 8 moves! We are very optimistic for this move, and for once i am not stressing out. All things happen for a reason, its always my mentality for thinking, so I am just trying to let it all roll off my shoulders and enter this with a level head. There is a lot to do, a lot to handle, but i am confident that with my amazing support system, it CAN be done! My dad and grandfather are driving me and the kids to our new home. they are towing a trailer and filling my dads truck, as well as filling my truck. I have alot of stuff to move, and I am ever so grateful for the people in my life.

This week has had a lot happen in just 5 short days. One of which was my sister. She had a very scary episode on wednesday morning. She was stricken with stroke like symptoms. she couldnt talk without sluring, she couldnt walk, her limbs were numb, and she had memory loss. Thankfully it turned out to be a migraine headache. It is a "specific" kind of migraine, but i cannot think of the proper word so i am not going to guess. It starts with an H. It is an actually condition, and thankfully she is okay. The kids and I went out to stay with her and her family for a night to help out. It was a great stay and it was very much needed. It felt good to help my sister out.

I cannot describe how great i feel ever since my thyroid meds have been prescribed. I have so much energy. I feel like my old self. I have not felt this much like me since we moved here. i am happy and relieved to know that my old self is back. i think there are a lot of others who feel the same way. I will admit, i was acting strange, but i couldnt get out of it. but i am back. Brian called to talk to me today and He said that it is really great to hear me sound so good. its noticable in my voice that i feel really good. That is a huge sense of relieve to me!

Today I had a doctors appointment for my endometriosis. I will be having a laparoscopic surgery done a week from today. I am extremely calm, and ready for it. what i am not ready for is other people taking care of me and my kids until i can again. I am also not looking forward to that gas they pump you full of to do the procedure. but it has to be done, so i am ready and willing. Its a simple procedure that doesnt take very long so noone be alarmed. recovery time is only a couple of days so i will be up and running in no time!

Well i guess I was the CENTER of this blog. Hmm.... its all about me. haha.
Everyone have a wonderful weekend!!

Time is of the essence.

Wow well, Quite a bit has happened here at the "Houts" Hold while i had a minor hiatus on blogging. No real reason why i haven't blogged except that I didn't feel like it, or when i did feel like it i was busy and didn't have the time to sit at the computer and type while the kids are doing only god knows what.... So i wait until times likes these; when Kendal is sleeping and Sladen is enjoying his evening movie and Hot-wheels in peace, without the terrorizing sister kicking through his parking lot or sitting on his towers. He is ever so patient, but he LOVES his alone time.

So lets get started.

Kendal and Slade had their doctor yearly checkups. They are doing great and growing like little weeds... Cuter weeds than dandelions, but weeds none the less!  I guess thats what happens when you feed and water them with healthy foods and drinks! Which leads me to slades nook jar that seems to be filling right up! He is eating those fruits and vegetables like a champ! He says he's going to be big and strong like daddy. That he is my friends....That he is!

Kendal is cutting 2 of the last 4 teeth in. Seems like these 4 teeth have been giving her a run for her money. its almost like they keep playing a mean game of hide and go seek. Except there are no giggles coming from this game! Just a lot of painful days and nights, and  alot of restless, sleepless nights. I will be thankful when the teeth are through and I know she will be too! Her vocabulary is getting quite large. I mean how large can it be at a year old? but you know what i mean. She says things like please, thank you, welcome, papa, bubby, momma, da da, bert, yes, no......  (now let me explain something... she is not an "on command" type of gal. She is "do at my own leisure and pace" type of gal. ) So are these words always flowing? no. Does she call me a liar sometimes? yes. BUT she CAN say them, and she DOES know them! She just inherited the stubborn genes from her....... FATHER. ha! She is doing really great. When you tell her to do something, she knows what it is and does it. she is a pretty smart young lady. She can eat with silver ware and she prefers them. not like her caveman brother who was born in a barn and chooses not to use the shiny silverware.

Now the caveman brother is doing really well. he is so independent; and he thrives off of it. We got him walkie talkies for his birthday, and i let him play out in the backyard if he takes one with him. He plays out there, i radio in to him "what are you doing?" or if he's not in window sight i say "i cant see you, move where i can see you"....and he does. He just plays out there knowing that he is such a big boy. That makes me smile. he's so independent and growing so much. He is no longer my baby, but my Little man! He is really excited to get settled in virginia beach to get started at pre-school. he is MORE than ready!

So packing has started and time is running short. We have 18 days left here in michigan. And its real bitter sweet. We get to move into our new house and set it up before daddy gets home, and we have visitors already planning dates to come on by. We are getting excited, and the calender is filling up!  but its going to be hard to leave our family and friends, yet again. Its going to be hard to up root the kids from people they see on a daily and weekley basis....But that is the name of the game, and i am fortunate to have such loving and understanding parents. They help me BEYOND believe and without them and help from grandma kay,  i would have been lost through this process. They kept me afloat and I am forever grateful.

Moving plans are being set into motion and its becoming "real life...."

I have had dr's appointments and I am getting my body straightened out. I am on thyroid medication and it is bringing me back to life and out of my lazy slump. My body is still trying to get used to the medication, but i can tell it is working. Thank goodness. I also have another appointment to try and get my endometriosis evaluated and get it under control. I am in a lot of pain and it is very uncomfortable. in due time...... in due time.

Brian is doing really well, and he seems to be enjoying his time on deployment now that he is back to the squadron. He looks really great and seems to be in good spirits. He called me this week and that gave me my weekly husband boost! haha. That is one amazing man!

Alright well, its time for me to close this thing off. Im sure I have left quite a bit out. I will try and blog again soon. Until then, Love to you all and Enjoy the fall weather, isnt it wonderful?!

Finding Myself.

Lately I havent been very motivated. I have been very lazy, and its almost embarrassing. Not almost-- Completely embarrassing. I am doing things that arent inside my character at all. For instance, leaving messes until i feel like getting to them, later that day, or even the next day! Not doing dishes until they stack up. Not mopping the floors weekly, not doing any weekly or daily chores. Its very embarrasing when people just stop by... because my house isnt presentable. I have never been like that, Nor do i want to be like that. I always have floors mopped, and vacuumed. Dishes are done and put away. Toilets are clean, showers are clean, everything tidied up...So why am i not doing that anymore?... I Dont feel like myself, and I feel a bit lost. I havent even been doing my make-up or caring what i wear. But Today while i forced myself to mop the floors on my hands and knees, I came to the realization that over the process of caring for the kids and brian during deployment, i have lost who i am, and Instead of trying to figure it out and make myself do things, I have just let go on my duties and taking care of myself, and focused more on the kids. They are always dressed. they are always clean. They have food and their needs are met, but why arent mine? Why am I letting myself go and what i take pride most in (my house) when that should be  what is most important?

Trying to figure out who to be or who you are without your other half is not easy. I find myself not having anyone to impress so why even care? Why have the house clean because there isnt anyone to come home to see it?! That isnt how my brain functions on a normal every day basis, so why am i letting it over power me?  Why am I letting laziness and moppiness get the best of me? I need my old self back, and i realized that its not just going to miraculously find me once brian gets home, I need to remain that person so I dont fall behind and become someone I am not. I need to take hold of who i used to be.

I will be the first to admit im not the same as i was before he left. I try to be, but Im not. I let him being gone get the best of me, but Im done with that. I need to move on in my brain and not focus on him not being around to impress. I need to impress myself...and do things to make myself proud.  I have let the stress go. I have let the anger go. I have let the insecurities and mindlessness go, because that is what is best. I need to focus on who I am and not worry about who i am becoming. This is not me. This lazy person is not me. I need to grab ahold of who I really am and take it back because i didnt like what i was seeing. Im not a person who lets their house smell. I am not a person who doesnt do dishes at night. Im not a person who lets a ring be visible in the toilet bowl-- So why was I letting that "person" over come me? why was I not caring? WHo knows, but now i realize, now i am aware, so now things change back to how they used to be!

I know this might sound cheesy to some people reading this. But you have to remember, that this blog is for jotting down what is in my brain and letting people read it. Its not always going to make sense to everyone. But it makes sense to me so thats what matters.

Sooner than Later!

Hi to you all!

Another week is gone, and i didnt accomplish too much. But what did get accomplished, is that i touched base with several friends that i NEEDED to hear from, housing got approved, and moving date is confirmed!

I have a bright start for my weekend to start out awesomely! Actually It was a friend filled week. I had a playdate with my friend Jaclyn & her 2 children, met my friend heather & her daughter for a picnic at the park, I chatted with Erin & Lindsy on the phone for the first time (other than Fb &Texts), then my friend heather had a sleepover last night. It was great to have company and hear friendly voices. You dont realize how much you miss the people you care about until you hear from them. It was very refreshing to hear those voices. Friends, when you have great ones, are as good as family, and thats heartwarming. I of course have great friends outside of the ones above mentioned, but this week was just so refreshing. Just when i feel all is getting on track, I get sucked back into reality. 

Housing called yesterday. We got into The same military housing we were in before, and THE SAME COURT! can you believe it? I couldnt believe that there was a house available on the court where we know our neighbors.... I feel we got sort of lucky. However it ISNT an end unit, but thats okay, because its a 4 bedroom so that makes up for the window loss! we lose 4 windows.......which means, i am going to have an over abundance of curtains! But i will have a spare bedroom. I have NEVER had a spare bedroom. How exciting! company wont have to take slades room, and slade wont have to crash in our room. Or i can make it into a play room, Oh the possibilities are endless! 

Moving date is relatively soon. Its less than 2 months away. That really leaves no time for anything. This my friends is very much bitter sweet. Are you ready for the moving date? October 7th is when we pick up the keys in virginia beach (and when i say we, i mean the kids and I, some of you thought brian was going to be there for this, he wont, not for months after we move back in). So that means we have to leave atleast a day prior. Our original plan was to move back around a month before brian got home, but when our housing came up that kind of shot the old plan to hell, so you just have to roll with the punches. so our stay here is cut off over a month early. Leaving me speechless as too how quick the time is actually moving. 2 months is essentially no time at all, so i have to get my ass moving. I need to get "shit"done. 

This morning has consisted of me inquiring for quotes of moving companies.I have never used a moving company, and it will be coming out of our pocket, but so would all the gas and tolls and food/ hotels and all of that. Im trying to weigh my options and really look at all aspects across the board and what works best and easiest for me and the kids. Its not an easy task to think about. Once the plan is in motion and we are on the road will be the easiest part. If i can pack up my life in 2 days, say "see you soon" to my husband/daddy and move 4 states away, get lost 3 times, and do it all in less than 4 days total with two kids and a grandmother-inlaw, i am confident i can move us back; its just hard to think about. 

Its very much bittersweet because this will be slades first Halloween somewhere other than Michigan. We have been away for the last 3 halloweens, but we have come home on leave for him to trick or treat in my old neighborhood and be with family. This year he will be trick or treating in virginia beach. It will be a new memory. It will be sisters first real halloween, and its sad that family will only get to join in by looking at pictures. But I guess thats all in the name of this military game. It comes with perks and lots of bittersweetness. When i first got the call yesterday I was really excited. I was excited to be back with my virginia beach friends and await the home coming of brian. But when it actually hit me that the kids and I will be leaving my parents and friends and family, that was like a "oh wow" moment.....all these things i have been thinking about (moving in a couple months) came rushing at me in a matter of seconds. Its hard to think about leaving your support system. Just when you think you have things in order, and you have a system going, life throws you a curve ball. I guess you just ride it out with a smile on your face! 

So as far as this weekend goes, im going to be seeing my neice and nephew, and having a scentsy party. I am then followed up with slades birthday on thursday, his party on saturday, then labor day weekend is our family reunion. after those 3 weekends it only gives me 4 more weekends before i leave. If that doesnt leave me ghost white in panic, im not sure what does! 

However moving early gives me lots of time to get the house ready for brian to come home. Slade says we have to fill daddy's fish tank and buy him new fishies since daddy had to get rid of his "old babies" (slades words) and apperantly daddy needs a turtle. and daddy if you are reading this, i guess he's going to pick you out some cool fish and a turtle named lou lou he said! I guess we will see. I will keep you all posted, but i think since i was getting lots of questions, this might help clarify some things!

Well i think that is all. I hope you all have a great weekend. 

Where does time go?!

First Off, Hello! 

I cant believe that it is already Mid August! Feels like the kids and I just got here, but we have been here for 3 months. Things i had planned to do while we were here is left undone, and it leaves me speechless as to where the hell the days go!  Time goes so quickly and its gone before you realize. It was just May, and now summer is almost over, and fall is in the air. The kids and I are soon to be packing, before we know it that day will be here! A day that will be very much bitter sweet. I know I have yet to see a lot of you. Seems like im in my own world over here. I know that i keep to myself. Its hard to go for 3 years without anyone around, you just get used to that lifestyle. I know i use that as a crutch or an excuse, i just need to get my ass out and about. 

So this week has been quite the week already. I applied for housing and i have yet to hear back. And My friend Kristin has been keeping an eye out for a good deal on a rental house for us, out in virginia beach.  she found this ad on craigslist. So i emailed and replied to the add. It was a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath, beautiful house in a wonderful neighborhood. One of those "too good to be true" deals. The rent was only 1000 a month (which is amazing for the area)..... so they sent me an email application and right away I was "accepted". without previous rental history and all the bells and whistles. They said they were sending the keys to me within 24 hours and they were ready to give me the information to send my first months rent and deposit. RED FLAG! first of all i hadnt seen the place, they havent done a background check or anything like that, it just was VERY fishy. I've never known a landlord to rent a house without atleast meeting the persons first. And you dont pay until you sign the lease. So i went with my gut and wrote them back and told them a lie of "we found a place, we just got confirmation today"..... please disreguard all previous information given. I havent heard back from them since, and it just didnt sit well with me. SO i did some searching. Their craigslist post had been flagged already, so it was a SCAM. they were going to take all my money. good thing my gut told me not to go through with anything. I cut it off in time. I could be broke right now. Broker than i already Am...hahaa. Goes to show how being nieve can get you in some fishy situations. SO, no more craigslisting for me. well for houses anyways ;).

Can you believe that my oldest baby is going to be 4 in 8 days?! Great balls of fire!!! It seems like i was just holding him while he cooed and nibbled on his bottle. How can he already be 4? Hes turing into a little man and his looks are changing Immensely. He's finally getting some height..... phew! He's been going through this phase that he thinks its a good thing to growl at me when he's mad. Um nope, not going to Fly Mr! Find a different outlet other than growling! 

Keni is growing big. Shes a little barney. I couldnt have more complete opposite children. Slades so laid back, where as keni is uptight. Slade is mild manored, where keni is outspoken (yes even at 1). Slade has patience (for the most part) Keni, Not a chance, what the hell is patience?! Slade is small and meek, keni is beefy and tough. The rougher you play with her, the more she laughs. They fight a lot, and keni will wrestle the hell out of sladen. She does things she knows will piss slade off, just to get a rise out of him. Yes, i have my hands full, i cringe thinking of teen years. 

This weekend is my scentsy party. It is 11 am - 2 pm. its an open house so its come and go as you please. I will have some snacks and it will be a great time.

The following weekend is slades "rawring 4th birthday party!"..... its at the county park, there will be swimming, playing at the play ground, cake of course, a pinatta at his request, its going to be a really great time. Im looking forward to it. He sure deserves a special day. He's been great since brian has been gone. He listens to his daddy and he is the "man of the house". He helps momma when he can. Doesnt mean he hasnt given me a run for my money with his attitude, but we are all trying to cope and deal. I say we are doing pretty darn good. 

This expirience is really making me grow. Ive felt myself evolve a little bit. When brians around, i tend to lean on him, i become less independent and more dependent. When something needs fixed, or slade needs something built or put together, the words "just wait until your daddy comes home, he will help you" just blurt out of my mouth, where as here,  its all momma. I have proudly built 3 rescue machines out of legos (with directions)! I have attempted however I couldnt complete, the transformer, but  i gave it my best shot! I have done alot that makes me step back and say to myself "go you!". I think when you are in a marriage and parenting you kind of lose yourself and you kind of morph together. Its a bit of a shock at first to be seperated, but now i see the things i could have done before. SUch as outtings. I would wait to take the kids somewhere so that i would have brian there not only to "do things as a family" but to have an extra set of hands. Now i just go. not because i have no choice, but because i want to. its very empowering. Im finding myself, and i am loving what and who i am seeing. Im not the only one who is changing, Brian is changing as well. He has always been and amazing man, flawed (as we all are), but amazing.... but even more so now. He is taking this time away from the kids and I, and he is using every tool to reflect and remain close to us. He is reading books to better us and keep us strong, he is taking classes and going to church!  Im So proud of him and the decisions he is making. He is no longer looking out for just himself, hes looking out for US. We've made a lot of mistakes in the past, but we are living from them, and to watch him give up his dream of becoming a commercial pilot, to help me have my own career brings me to tears. Is it only for me? No, of course not. But was he thinking of me when he made that decision? Of course.And that is one of many ways he truely is amazing. Many of you know brian very well, be proud of him, be very proud of him because he is simply amazing. He is a wonderful Man and father. 

Well that is all for now. I have two fighting kids on my hands. both of which are wearing tutu's and riding cars.

Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend! 

Every Now and Again

Well good morning!

We have accomplished another week, and the weekend is here to stay! This week has been a hard week for me. I have been nose to nose with an almost 4 year old who is missing his daddy tremendously. Missing daddy on and off for all 3 of us has been tough but this week it hit us like a brick wall. I have yet to hear this many " i really miss daddy," "deployment is taking too long", "i dont like this house", "mommy, im really sad", and more comments. It seems like this week, they are non stop. normally its hit or miss, maybe 2 nights a week I would hear it. I have heard that month 3 is the hardest, and things are proving to be true. Tuesday and Wednesday, mainly tuesday, put me to the test. Slade tested my emotions almost to the point of no return. I felt helpless. I miss my husband tremendously, but i have overcome that feeling, but i am pained by my sons heartbreak at the need to lash out in order to "be heard" about missing daddy. For being so young, sladen is really good at telling me his feelings. The little bugger wears his heart on his sleeve, and majority of me is so proud to instill that into him. I dont feel the need for slade to have a "Tough skin". He is able to show his emotions and tell them to me as well. But i dont find smiling at me while he is getting yelled at, kicking his sister in the face, and deliberately disobeying counts as an outlet, and this week has tested the patience of both of us in that aspect. I saught help from a professional--My mother.

As i was faced with bills coming in, accounts dwindling, defiant toddler, teething baby, day to day tasks and favors, i found myself at the height of a mental breakdown. I called my mom in tears. I couldnt take holding it in and being strong, everyone has those days. and tuesday was mine. At the dinner table on Tuesday, slade was up and down, "mommy i have to pee", gagging his food, throwing it on the floor, not listening, sissy is throwing down her food, not eating, i found myself on the floor, sobbing, while cleaning up bits of stuffing and ham with a dish rag, when all of a sudden, my mom pulled in. she saved me. She helped me get the kids fed, bathed and ready for bed. All i needed was a little help. and Im always too stubborn to ask. I bottle up all these emotions and keep them locked away, in fear that people see me at my weakest. I am so bold faced and strong, but i do have those times where showing my emotion, and showing my weakness, makes me so vulnerable and i feel like a failure on all levels of the spectrum. but i needed that saving grace. that saving grace fixed my week.

The rest of the week, and teaching slade lessons like-- kicking Kendal in the face while im packing a picnic, results in NO picnic. Or leaving library books on the ground while i am buckling sissy in and mommy didnt know they were left, leads him to going to the library after the librarian calls the house, he apologizes and gets 2 weeks of no library (from mommy) to result in the learning process. Soap in the mouth for laughing while getting in trouble, and toys thrown away when they arent where they should be after being asked many times. these are my new ways.

Slade gets my sympathy with the missing daddy. I get it. I fully understand and I am aware. But to what extent am I willing to sacrifice all our hard work and dedication in aligning this child with great manors and a bright light? He needs to know that enough is enough, and it isnt okay to act this way. But it IS okay to miss his daddy, it IS okay to feel sad and hurt that daddy left, but it ISNT okay to treat mommy and sissy badly. He is learning, and it is a hard process but we are getting there. We have come this far, we are just waiting for the downhill run.