Good morning! Here we go!
Day 74: do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength:
I think this is sort of a loaded question. This one can get misconstrued where i possibly offend someone so Im just going to start off by saying that my views are completely about ME. What I feel when I cry.... Im not answering it about anyone else, but me. Crying to me can vary my emotions. I think that it takes a person who is completely comfortable with the person whom they are crying to; or I tend to cry alone, because i feel weak and vulnerable to cry in front of people. To me, it takes a lot for me to break down in front of the FEW people that I do cry in front of. My body can only take so much before the waterworks begin. Stress brings on a lot of emotions for me. Hurt is something that probably makes me cry most. Whether it be something that physically hurt me, or emotionally hurt-- to me those are equally as damaging.
I think there comes times where you want to cry, but you keep swallowing that bubble in your throat until it hurts, trying to keep from breaking down. I know that when I dropped brian Off to the ship for deployment, i was in the passenger seat, we found our parking spot, and were dreading getting out. and as we were looking at all these people/couples hugging and sobbing at vehicles all around us, and we didn't want to be that couple! Not for pride reasons or showing "we've got this" but to show support and strength for each other. So we exited the vehicle and walked to the back of the car. As i was walking that short distance, that frog started to climb up my esophagus to the point of pain. I seen him doing the same thing, swallowing and blinking, holding it back. So once we got to the trunk of the car, brian pulled out his bag of things, slammed the back door and said "whelp, this is it!" we hugged and that damn frog was getting bigger, and bigger! kept swallowing it down and holding back. gave each other a peck, because anything longer would make it harder to leave. One more big hug, and i started walking backwards with a smile on my face, put my hand in the air to wave as he was walking to the pier...... "its not goodbye babe, its I will see you soon!".... he replied with the same and blew a kiss. Once he turned around to face the ship, he never turned around to look at me again. It was too hard. I watched him enter the gate and then i got in the car and started my trek back home. I really wanted to cry, but i couldn't bring myself to be sorry for myself-- not yet! To me, not crying in front of brian meant that i was strong enough to do this deployment. I was strong enough to hold it together so that he too could hold it together. If i would have let a tear fall, he would have been a mess, and that isnt the way i wanted to leave him. I wanted to leave him with a smile on my face, and dry eyes! as hard as it was, somehow i accomplished it-- and not crying, made me feel strong.
I think what i was getting to when writing all of that, is crying is a pride thing for me. I don't often hide my weaknesses but crying is very guarded to me. I feel if i cry in front of my friends or family, that they are going to think less of me. I know everyone cries and i know a lot of people whom cry at the drop of a hat. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, because as i am being completely honest, i think SEEING people cry shows strength.It shows their love and care and its pure raw emotion that warms your heart to see. Its letting all of the emotions out of their body, so they can rebuild their strength. I know how bazaar that sounds. How hard i am on myself TO cry, and when i see people cry I feel it shows that they are a strong individual. Im not sure if this is even making sense to you all, but it makes sense to me.
Whether you cry or you dont cry, whether you hold it in or pour it out, doesnt tell anything about who you are as a person! . It doesnt say that you are a weak person. It doesnt say im super strong! It is just showing that you are human, and that sometimes you let things get the best of you, and that is okay.
"tears are weakness leaving the body" is a quote that i always hear in my head when i am about to cry. whether that rings true to you or not, it doesnt matter. we all cry and we are all strong in our own ways, and we also have weaknesses.......
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Day 73 of the Challenge!
Day 83: if you had to teach something, what would you teach:
If I had to teach, I would choose to teach Art. I love Art. I love the feeling you get when you are creating something. Im a little rusty when it comes to the technique, but of course if i were going to school for it, i wouldn't be rusty now would I? So yes, I would LOVE to teach Art Class. Name designs, Pottery, Rubber stamps, Etching, watercolors, soooo much! I love it all. If any class I exceeded in, it was Art! I know that doesn't make me smart, and that is okay,haha. Or English. I love writing papers and doing the research. I would also like to teach English. Although, not sure if I have the patience for older kids and their shenanigans ! Teaching also isn't my thing, but the question was IF i HAD to teach...........
If I had to teach, I would choose to teach Art. I love Art. I love the feeling you get when you are creating something. Im a little rusty when it comes to the technique, but of course if i were going to school for it, i wouldn't be rusty now would I? So yes, I would LOVE to teach Art Class. Name designs, Pottery, Rubber stamps, Etching, watercolors, soooo much! I love it all. If any class I exceeded in, it was Art! I know that doesn't make me smart, and that is okay,haha. Or English. I love writing papers and doing the research. I would also like to teach English. Although, not sure if I have the patience for older kids and their shenanigans ! Teaching also isn't my thing, but the question was IF i HAD to teach...........
Monday, May 14, 2012
Day 71 & 72 of the challenge!
Hi everyone! Well this weekend was alot of fun! The kids and I finished up our 10 days without brian by Going out to dinner on saturday! It was so much fun. Slade chose wendy's but we just had a lot of giggles, and the anticipation of knowing brian was coming home was exciting. I know 10 days isnt much, and i know i have done a lot longer, and so has so many other people, but time away, is time away in my eyes. Our 10 days had been FILLED up with fun things to do. We did petting farms, and shopping, playtime and Pools, Crafts and walks, we just had so much fun!!! Every night at dinner, we do this thing with the kids where we ask them what their favorite part of their day was, and their worst part of their day. Slade ALWAYS has a bad part of his day, whether it be something small, or something large, there is always a bad part.... BUT to my surprise, the time brian was away, he never ONCE had a bad part of his day. He says his days were all good and he cant find a bad part. That warms my heart. I try so hard to keep them happy and busy, and I guess my hard work pays off!
Brian got home saturday Night. The kids thought he wasnt going to be home until they woke up sunday morning, BUT as we were reading our bedtime stories, daddy snuck in and crawled in bed while we were reading. Slades face was at first SCARED that he saw someone, but as he STARED, a smile came to his face, and he leaped up and tightly grabbed brians neck and hugged him tight, as did sis. It brought tears to my eyes (im a big mush).My little family couldn't get any happier at times, and its pretty awesome to feel and see the love. We didnt finish reading, because daddy had souvineers to pass out and we had a week and a half to talk about!
Sunday was mothers day, and i woke up to the kids and brian leaving so i could have a break and some ME time. When they got home i was ready for them to be home. I was bored. they brought me in my mothers day flowers and gifts! Slade also was rewarded with a hotwheel track of his choice, because he was so good at being the man of the house when daddy was gone, and he followed all the rules, and was a good boy! He chose a grave digger track, kind of ironic since we were taking him to the monster trucks on the beach later that evening and he had no idea! haha. anyways, we went out to breakfast then came home to give the kids naps and get ready to head out to monsters on the beach!
The anticipation of the crowds, and the parking always get me into a panic attack....Too many thoughts running through my head.... so much can happen at things like that. So ALWAYS at a big event, i am pretty "bitchy" until things get settled. We got settled in our seats, that were WAY far on the end, but ended up being really nice, because we didnt have people sitting on our "laps" like the other stands did. The monster trucks werent as fun as we have seen before, but too the kids it was AWESOME.... aside from the fact that slade was PISSED that grave digger and MAX D wasnt there.... and i mean MAD. haha. Anyways, it was alot of fun. Why is it that food is so expensive at things like that?! I went and bought ONE thing of fries and ONE drink to share between the 4 of us, and when the man told me 10 dollars I about shit myself! WHAT!!! anywhosit, it was worth it.
I have to tell you that my husband tried taking out his entire family at the monster trucks. I think it was his plan the entire time. "hmmm i will take my family to the monster trucks, and have it end tragically by falling down the bleachers and taking out my wife and kids!"...... As we were leaving, i had slade on my hip and i was carrying him down the bleachers, as the crowd was getting thick and i didnt want him to get "lost." so I started down and all of a sudden I hear LOUD CLATTER and a big WOAH, with a mass amount of weight on my shoulders, sending me to fall forward. As i was thinking I was going to smash my face along with slades on the bleahers in front of me, i was scared to death that slade was going to get hurt, not to mention what was happening behind me! As i was "free falling" and yelling OH NO!!! i see this hand grab my arm, and i felt myself being stopped. The weight on my back was MASSIVE and my arm that was holding slade was crushed on the side of the bleachers. As i look up, this gentleman that was infront of me had GRABBED me and saved us. When i looked up I saw his poor son being held by his shoulder.... the little boy was just dangling there with this look on his face like "what the fuck!" .... This nice man saved me, and my kids! I guess another man saved me too, but i didnt see him. I couldnt say thank you enough, but i was trying to figure out what happened. My clumsy husband tripped while we was carrying sis down the stands, and since he didnt have a free arm, he leaned on me. See, it was his plan to take the whole family out! haha. anyways, i guess what i am getting at, is all things happen for a reason. That man that was sitting in front of me when we fell, wasnt there until probably the last half our of the show. Before hand there were teenagers sitting in front of me. All i can think of, is that man was there to help me. I know it sounds weird, and strange but its true. This could have been really bad.... i mean really bad. but it wasnt, thanks to 2 angels in the forms of men. Brian said he saw the man sitting next to him, book it down the stands to catch me. We were like dominos. and the guy infront of me turned around when i yelled OH NO, and his instict was to grab me. Kind hearted fellows!
The rest of our evening was spent with me teasing brian about how he tried to kill me and his kids.... haha.
Okay so, now that i blabbed on and on, heres the challenge!
Day 71: your biggest fear:
My biggest fear is death. Death scares the shit out of me.... I guess HOW i am going to die is what scares me most. I know you don't know whats going to happen, but my brain wonders and it scares me. I get scared knowing that you can't ever come back here again...at least in this form, with these same people, and i get panic attacks when i think about it! Yes by far, death is my biggest fear.
Day 72:would you break the law to save someone you love:
This isnt even a question to answer. Hell yes i would. i would do anything to save the ones i love- end of story!
Brian got home saturday Night. The kids thought he wasnt going to be home until they woke up sunday morning, BUT as we were reading our bedtime stories, daddy snuck in and crawled in bed while we were reading. Slades face was at first SCARED that he saw someone, but as he STARED, a smile came to his face, and he leaped up and tightly grabbed brians neck and hugged him tight, as did sis. It brought tears to my eyes (im a big mush).My little family couldn't get any happier at times, and its pretty awesome to feel and see the love. We didnt finish reading, because daddy had souvineers to pass out and we had a week and a half to talk about!
Sunday was mothers day, and i woke up to the kids and brian leaving so i could have a break and some ME time. When they got home i was ready for them to be home. I was bored. they brought me in my mothers day flowers and gifts! Slade also was rewarded with a hotwheel track of his choice, because he was so good at being the man of the house when daddy was gone, and he followed all the rules, and was a good boy! He chose a grave digger track, kind of ironic since we were taking him to the monster trucks on the beach later that evening and he had no idea! haha. anyways, we went out to breakfast then came home to give the kids naps and get ready to head out to monsters on the beach!
The anticipation of the crowds, and the parking always get me into a panic attack....Too many thoughts running through my head.... so much can happen at things like that. So ALWAYS at a big event, i am pretty "bitchy" until things get settled. We got settled in our seats, that were WAY far on the end, but ended up being really nice, because we didnt have people sitting on our "laps" like the other stands did. The monster trucks werent as fun as we have seen before, but too the kids it was AWESOME.... aside from the fact that slade was PISSED that grave digger and MAX D wasnt there.... and i mean MAD. haha. Anyways, it was alot of fun. Why is it that food is so expensive at things like that?! I went and bought ONE thing of fries and ONE drink to share between the 4 of us, and when the man told me 10 dollars I about shit myself! WHAT!!! anywhosit, it was worth it.
I have to tell you that my husband tried taking out his entire family at the monster trucks. I think it was his plan the entire time. "hmmm i will take my family to the monster trucks, and have it end tragically by falling down the bleachers and taking out my wife and kids!"...... As we were leaving, i had slade on my hip and i was carrying him down the bleachers, as the crowd was getting thick and i didnt want him to get "lost." so I started down and all of a sudden I hear LOUD CLATTER and a big WOAH, with a mass amount of weight on my shoulders, sending me to fall forward. As i was thinking I was going to smash my face along with slades on the bleahers in front of me, i was scared to death that slade was going to get hurt, not to mention what was happening behind me! As i was "free falling" and yelling OH NO!!! i see this hand grab my arm, and i felt myself being stopped. The weight on my back was MASSIVE and my arm that was holding slade was crushed on the side of the bleachers. As i look up, this gentleman that was infront of me had GRABBED me and saved us. When i looked up I saw his poor son being held by his shoulder.... the little boy was just dangling there with this look on his face like "what the fuck!" .... This nice man saved me, and my kids! I guess another man saved me too, but i didnt see him. I couldnt say thank you enough, but i was trying to figure out what happened. My clumsy husband tripped while we was carrying sis down the stands, and since he didnt have a free arm, he leaned on me. See, it was his plan to take the whole family out! haha. anyways, i guess what i am getting at, is all things happen for a reason. That man that was sitting in front of me when we fell, wasnt there until probably the last half our of the show. Before hand there were teenagers sitting in front of me. All i can think of, is that man was there to help me. I know it sounds weird, and strange but its true. This could have been really bad.... i mean really bad. but it wasnt, thanks to 2 angels in the forms of men. Brian said he saw the man sitting next to him, book it down the stands to catch me. We were like dominos. and the guy infront of me turned around when i yelled OH NO, and his instict was to grab me. Kind hearted fellows!
The rest of our evening was spent with me teasing brian about how he tried to kill me and his kids.... haha.
Okay so, now that i blabbed on and on, heres the challenge!
Day 71: your biggest fear:
My biggest fear is death. Death scares the shit out of me.... I guess HOW i am going to die is what scares me most. I know you don't know whats going to happen, but my brain wonders and it scares me. I get scared knowing that you can't ever come back here again...at least in this form, with these same people, and i get panic attacks when i think about it! Yes by far, death is my biggest fear.
Day 72:would you break the law to save someone you love:
This isnt even a question to answer. Hell yes i would. i would do anything to save the ones i love- end of story!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Day 70 of the Challenge!
Good morning! the challenge today is photo's from my childhood, so here we go................
 |
| This is me brand new, with my sister and Dad! |
 |
| My sister and I :) |
 |
| One of my all time favorite pictures-- i love our faces! |
 |
| this was my first "best" friend.... Meet PJ sparkles :) |
 |
| mom, dad and I |
 |
| 4 of my "go to" girls in "middle school". |
 |
| my cousin ericka, & sisters JESS's :) swimming is what we did best! |
 |
| oh yes, he was part of my child hood too. wow we've come a long way! |
 |
| this was my BEST friend of all time! note-- the boy in the visor is a senior in high school this year. so weird! haha. |
Friday, May 11, 2012
Day 67, 68 & 69 of the challenge!
Good Morning! I am ever so glad that it is friday! Meaning that I only have 1 more day until Brian is back home! The kids miss him, and they really have been great while he has been gone. Other than the weird sleeping patterns they've had over the passed 10 days. I swear, they sleep so well normally, and aside from only 2 nights of trouble from slade, he has been "cake"...But sis, wow she sure gives me a run for my money! That is one strong willed individual.
This week Kendal has learned so many words its crazy... She is moving on to 3-4 word sentences! Granted she has an older brother to help teach her, but she has been saying "Whats this mommy?" , "WHAT?!" is her newest favorite phrase... "oh cool!", " NO NO BITE!!!", " Go potty farcy", "ga bwess you!", "I done!" "All gone!", "baf time!", "diss sissy's!" "hi keemy truck! (ice cream truck)", "i got you!"........ she has been talking up a storm... now i understand what she is saying because i am her momma, but even our neighbor meghan has noticed how much her vocabulary has improved over the last week! I have to keep reminding myself that she is nearly 2, and she should be talking this way!
Slade has been such a big help this week. he has his eyes on a prize if he's been good, so he reminds me EVERY night to tell daddy that he was good :) Now daddy is good at bribery on this kid, but whatever works to keep him a good boy, i will accept. Aside from the occasional melt down, this boy has been tremendous. He's growing up so fast, and by up I mean tall. He's not TALL by normal standards, but for slade standards, he is getting tall! outgrowing everything! which i am not complaining because we've been waiting for a big growth spurt, and we got it!
So here we go, lets get started!
Day 67: what gives you everyday inspiration:
My kids fuel my energy. They inspire me to do what we do every day. They keep me on my toes. They keep my imagination going, they are my inspiration. I have to raise them in the best way i can, and thanks to them, they make it easy on me. Weather gives me inspiration for what the day holds. A dirty house gives me inspiration to clean! I have so much inspiration sitting infont of me, there never seems to be a dull moment.
Day 68: Would you rather people be honest with you, even if its something not good, or lie to you to make you feel good:
I like people to give it to me straight. I tell people my opinion, and i expect it back .If you have something to tell me, tell me it. I would rather people tell me honestly, then lie and deceive me. When i talk to my friends, i do not hold back, sometimes i may some offensive things. But that is me, i do not sugar coat for the most part. I am no hard ass, but i also am no liar. So to answer the question, be honest with me whether you may or may not offend me, honesty is best.
Day 69: Least favorite subject in school:
Hands down MATH!! i don't understand it, and never will. Its so foreign to me, and its soooo un-natural. I dont get how letters and numbers co-exist to make a sum.... or whatever- see i dont even know what i am talking about. I sure hope my kids dont have problems in math, because its not a comfortable thing to be bad at. I mean, simple multiplication stumps me sometimes, and yes i count on my fingers sometimes still if necessary. Math is NOT my strong suit! Not to mention I never once liked my math teachers in high school. Mr. Neigh was an asshole-- and no i wasnt perfect or the best student, but that guy did better at confusing me than anything. I swear i spent more time laughing at the expo dry erase marker dust all over his face, rather then paying attention to the math he was doing on the board. Or his specialty was kicking me out to the hallway almost every day because i would nervously laugh when he was trying to help me ( those of you who know me know that i laugh at the worst things known to man when i am nervous/sad/upset. I would laugh if you told me your grandma died, just because i was sad for you... ). He would tell me that i never took anything seriously, but i really tried. That guy was a nutcase I will be the first to admit, that i wasn't at school to learn, i was there to be a social butterfly, and math was far off my radar, BUT when i really did try, i didnt understand, and tests would put me in tears. Even in college I struggled at the easiest of math classes. Its an insecurity. Anyways, now that i have took a short trip down embarrassing memory lane, my answer is MATH- worst subject HANDS DOWN!
This week Kendal has learned so many words its crazy... She is moving on to 3-4 word sentences! Granted she has an older brother to help teach her, but she has been saying "Whats this mommy?" , "WHAT?!" is her newest favorite phrase... "oh cool!", " NO NO BITE!!!", " Go potty farcy", "ga bwess you!", "I done!" "All gone!", "baf time!", "diss sissy's!" "hi keemy truck! (ice cream truck)", "i got you!"........ she has been talking up a storm... now i understand what she is saying because i am her momma, but even our neighbor meghan has noticed how much her vocabulary has improved over the last week! I have to keep reminding myself that she is nearly 2, and she should be talking this way!
Slade has been such a big help this week. he has his eyes on a prize if he's been good, so he reminds me EVERY night to tell daddy that he was good :) Now daddy is good at bribery on this kid, but whatever works to keep him a good boy, i will accept. Aside from the occasional melt down, this boy has been tremendous. He's growing up so fast, and by up I mean tall. He's not TALL by normal standards, but for slade standards, he is getting tall! outgrowing everything! which i am not complaining because we've been waiting for a big growth spurt, and we got it!
So here we go, lets get started!
Day 67: what gives you everyday inspiration:
My kids fuel my energy. They inspire me to do what we do every day. They keep me on my toes. They keep my imagination going, they are my inspiration. I have to raise them in the best way i can, and thanks to them, they make it easy on me. Weather gives me inspiration for what the day holds. A dirty house gives me inspiration to clean! I have so much inspiration sitting infont of me, there never seems to be a dull moment.
Day 68: Would you rather people be honest with you, even if its something not good, or lie to you to make you feel good:
I like people to give it to me straight. I tell people my opinion, and i expect it back .If you have something to tell me, tell me it. I would rather people tell me honestly, then lie and deceive me. When i talk to my friends, i do not hold back, sometimes i may some offensive things. But that is me, i do not sugar coat for the most part. I am no hard ass, but i also am no liar. So to answer the question, be honest with me whether you may or may not offend me, honesty is best.
Day 69: Least favorite subject in school:
Hands down MATH!! i don't understand it, and never will. Its so foreign to me, and its soooo un-natural. I dont get how letters and numbers co-exist to make a sum.... or whatever- see i dont even know what i am talking about. I sure hope my kids dont have problems in math, because its not a comfortable thing to be bad at. I mean, simple multiplication stumps me sometimes, and yes i count on my fingers sometimes still if necessary. Math is NOT my strong suit! Not to mention I never once liked my math teachers in high school. Mr. Neigh was an asshole-- and no i wasnt perfect or the best student, but that guy did better at confusing me than anything. I swear i spent more time laughing at the expo dry erase marker dust all over his face, rather then paying attention to the math he was doing on the board. Or his specialty was kicking me out to the hallway almost every day because i would nervously laugh when he was trying to help me ( those of you who know me know that i laugh at the worst things known to man when i am nervous/sad/upset. I would laugh if you told me your grandma died, just because i was sad for you... ). He would tell me that i never took anything seriously, but i really tried. That guy was a nutcase I will be the first to admit, that i wasn't at school to learn, i was there to be a social butterfly, and math was far off my radar, BUT when i really did try, i didnt understand, and tests would put me in tears. Even in college I struggled at the easiest of math classes. Its an insecurity. Anyways, now that i have took a short trip down embarrassing memory lane, my answer is MATH- worst subject HANDS DOWN!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Day 65 & 66 of the challenge
Good morning Ladies & Gents! (probably mainly Ladies, but i have to greet everyone as a whole ;) )
Well these challenges are getting boring questions, so i thought that i would take a couple days off and just type about my life and thoughts instead of answering silly questions about what my best dream has ever been, and what i think about going green. I can answer the green one, but the dream one, well, i can't remember my dreams, only the morning i wake up after them can i remember, then i forget. OTHER than nightmares, which dont count as "great" so, i thought answering that and wasting a blog on a another silly question would be pointless, thus the reasoning for not blogging yesterday! SO, as far as "what i think about going green", I feel that, if that is something you want to do, go for it. I think alot of cancers and sickness has to do with the chemicals and additives put in foods and products, and i think the earth needs some saving and recovering, but i am not green. I use plastic bags, and aerosol cans. Basically the only "green" product i use is that clorox GREEN cleaner. It is actually my favorite product to clean with. I know i should care more, and try harder, but when it comes to spending the extra money on the specialty stuff, i just dont have it in me. Organic products are nice, but expensive. I dont feed my kids alot of processed foods anymore, actually RARELY do they get processed foods, BUT i have not made the organic switch. For reason 1 being-- its expensive, and reason 2-- i like what i like, and organic is foreign to me. Trader Joes (the grocery store) INTIMIDATES ME! i dont know what HALF the "crap" is, and i dont feel like standing in every isle trying to find what i like....Creature of habit. I know every isle at the commissary like the back of my hand. Im not in ANY WAY knocking anyone for being green OR organic, because its an admirable quality, just not one that I am. To each their own, Right?!
Our life is somewhat crazy right now. Turned a little upside down. Getting out of the military life SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME, but in the same sentence, it makes me look forward to getting out. I will miss the special care you get, and the admiration people have for you, and what your husband has done. I will miss what you get handed to you on a silver platter.....BUT with him being gone for this detachment, just makes it crystal clear-- that i HATE for him to be gone. Don't get me wrong, i am loving my free time at night to watch my shows, and for selfish reasons like hogging the bed, and eating WHAT and WHEN i want. BUT i miss him for the kids. I miss our nightly rituals of eating together and talking about our days as a family, and i miss him giving the kids a bath while i take a moment to run. Him being gone solidifies that detachments and deployments are not for me. In that aspect, i couldn't be happier about our decision to get out of the Navy. As far as house hunting and job hunting and college applications-- well i can feel the grey hairs grow. Im stressed to the max about a house. I feel like i am going to be living in a Penske truck with all our belongings. Sleeping amidst boxes and eating canned food with a spoon. Now i know that was a bit dramatic, but its true. Being an adult is stressful!
Moving away from this beautiful place is heartbreaking. Although michigan has alot of beauty to offer, nothing beats going to the beach when you have a rough day, or running to the ocean to clear your head..... Playgrounds ocean side, ahhhhhhh THAT is what i am going to miss. You cant find that in michigan. BUT you cant find Family here, and quite frankly, family is more important than a stroll on the beach.
I have loved the journey of moving place to place, seeing things i wouldnt have been able to without being in the military. Not many people can say that they have lived in washington DC, and we did, and We also got to live in such a beautiful beachy place. I have birthed a baby in a different state. Its been a spectacular journey. I have learned alot, and grew alot. I have been blessed in so many ways, but its time to move on to the next chapter of our life. To build a new life and start from scratch. Watch our kids be raised with surrounding families. Hopefully learn from our past mistakes and build us a wonderful stable environment for the kids to "flourish".
As nerve racking as this all is, it will all be worth it, i do believe!
Well these challenges are getting boring questions, so i thought that i would take a couple days off and just type about my life and thoughts instead of answering silly questions about what my best dream has ever been, and what i think about going green. I can answer the green one, but the dream one, well, i can't remember my dreams, only the morning i wake up after them can i remember, then i forget. OTHER than nightmares, which dont count as "great" so, i thought answering that and wasting a blog on a another silly question would be pointless, thus the reasoning for not blogging yesterday! SO, as far as "what i think about going green", I feel that, if that is something you want to do, go for it. I think alot of cancers and sickness has to do with the chemicals and additives put in foods and products, and i think the earth needs some saving and recovering, but i am not green. I use plastic bags, and aerosol cans. Basically the only "green" product i use is that clorox GREEN cleaner. It is actually my favorite product to clean with. I know i should care more, and try harder, but when it comes to spending the extra money on the specialty stuff, i just dont have it in me. Organic products are nice, but expensive. I dont feed my kids alot of processed foods anymore, actually RARELY do they get processed foods, BUT i have not made the organic switch. For reason 1 being-- its expensive, and reason 2-- i like what i like, and organic is foreign to me. Trader Joes (the grocery store) INTIMIDATES ME! i dont know what HALF the "crap" is, and i dont feel like standing in every isle trying to find what i like....Creature of habit. I know every isle at the commissary like the back of my hand. Im not in ANY WAY knocking anyone for being green OR organic, because its an admirable quality, just not one that I am. To each their own, Right?!
Our life is somewhat crazy right now. Turned a little upside down. Getting out of the military life SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME, but in the same sentence, it makes me look forward to getting out. I will miss the special care you get, and the admiration people have for you, and what your husband has done. I will miss what you get handed to you on a silver platter.....BUT with him being gone for this detachment, just makes it crystal clear-- that i HATE for him to be gone. Don't get me wrong, i am loving my free time at night to watch my shows, and for selfish reasons like hogging the bed, and eating WHAT and WHEN i want. BUT i miss him for the kids. I miss our nightly rituals of eating together and talking about our days as a family, and i miss him giving the kids a bath while i take a moment to run. Him being gone solidifies that detachments and deployments are not for me. In that aspect, i couldn't be happier about our decision to get out of the Navy. As far as house hunting and job hunting and college applications-- well i can feel the grey hairs grow. Im stressed to the max about a house. I feel like i am going to be living in a Penske truck with all our belongings. Sleeping amidst boxes and eating canned food with a spoon. Now i know that was a bit dramatic, but its true. Being an adult is stressful!
Moving away from this beautiful place is heartbreaking. Although michigan has alot of beauty to offer, nothing beats going to the beach when you have a rough day, or running to the ocean to clear your head..... Playgrounds ocean side, ahhhhhhh THAT is what i am going to miss. You cant find that in michigan. BUT you cant find Family here, and quite frankly, family is more important than a stroll on the beach.
I have loved the journey of moving place to place, seeing things i wouldnt have been able to without being in the military. Not many people can say that they have lived in washington DC, and we did, and We also got to live in such a beautiful beachy place. I have birthed a baby in a different state. Its been a spectacular journey. I have learned alot, and grew alot. I have been blessed in so many ways, but its time to move on to the next chapter of our life. To build a new life and start from scratch. Watch our kids be raised with surrounding families. Hopefully learn from our past mistakes and build us a wonderful stable environment for the kids to "flourish".
As nerve racking as this all is, it will all be worth it, i do believe!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Day 64 of the Challenge!
Good morning!
I went up to my bed at 8:30 pm last night. Judge me, thats okay. Call me old, thats okay too. But i was exhausted. Running around with the kids all day yesterday, IN the heat, without sleep the night before, yes, i was taking advantage of the quietness and going to watch a movie in bed and fall asleep. Marci had no objections either. Kendal started doing the screaming thing about 9 O'clock, and i did a bad, bad thing. I gave her, her pacifier. I know BAD MOMMY, but you guys werent the ones taking care of her ALL of the night before, and you werent going to be the ones to take care of her last night either. So I did what i had to do to keep my sanity. She still woke up alot last night, but with the pacifier it made the times she did wake up (5 to be exact) easier in the sense of not having to rub her leg back to sleep or keep making her get into bed over and over again. Instead you pop that magical paci in her mouth, BOOM out like a light. SO even tho i was up mulitple times, i atleast got some sleep. I plan on NOT giving her, the pacifier again, but i sooooo needed that last night.
The kids are up early again today.... 6:18, keni got out of bed and came to lay with me, until brother came out of his room at 6:30.... then downstairs we came to get some breakfast and coffee brewing!! Now we're watching curious george and playing with the elmo light spinners from the show yesterday! So onto the Challenge!
Day 64: how would you describe your style of clothing:
I would describe my style of clothing to be cute and comfortable. Im not high fashion, i dont peep toe my shoes, or paint my jeans on. I wear lots of tank tops with capri's and flip flops in the summer. and in the winter i wear alot of jersey long sleeves & hoodies. I wear tennis shoes or flip flops most of the time. sometimes i throw a really cute outfit into the mix. i do own knee boots and some cute pieces that barely get worn. i am for Comfort, not Style. Some day i will take the time to make myself more than just "cute" but for now, playing in the dirt and keeping my kids happy is what i worry about :) The other day i put a REALLY cute outfit on with wedge heels, and brian said to take the shoes off, because he doesnt like me in heels, because it doesnt suit me. Hahahaa. just not used to it, is all!!!!
I went up to my bed at 8:30 pm last night. Judge me, thats okay. Call me old, thats okay too. But i was exhausted. Running around with the kids all day yesterday, IN the heat, without sleep the night before, yes, i was taking advantage of the quietness and going to watch a movie in bed and fall asleep. Marci had no objections either. Kendal started doing the screaming thing about 9 O'clock, and i did a bad, bad thing. I gave her, her pacifier. I know BAD MOMMY, but you guys werent the ones taking care of her ALL of the night before, and you werent going to be the ones to take care of her last night either. So I did what i had to do to keep my sanity. She still woke up alot last night, but with the pacifier it made the times she did wake up (5 to be exact) easier in the sense of not having to rub her leg back to sleep or keep making her get into bed over and over again. Instead you pop that magical paci in her mouth, BOOM out like a light. SO even tho i was up mulitple times, i atleast got some sleep. I plan on NOT giving her, the pacifier again, but i sooooo needed that last night.
The kids are up early again today.... 6:18, keni got out of bed and came to lay with me, until brother came out of his room at 6:30.... then downstairs we came to get some breakfast and coffee brewing!! Now we're watching curious george and playing with the elmo light spinners from the show yesterday! So onto the Challenge!
Day 64: how would you describe your style of clothing:
I would describe my style of clothing to be cute and comfortable. Im not high fashion, i dont peep toe my shoes, or paint my jeans on. I wear lots of tank tops with capri's and flip flops in the summer. and in the winter i wear alot of jersey long sleeves & hoodies. I wear tennis shoes or flip flops most of the time. sometimes i throw a really cute outfit into the mix. i do own knee boots and some cute pieces that barely get worn. i am for Comfort, not Style. Some day i will take the time to make myself more than just "cute" but for now, playing in the dirt and keeping my kids happy is what i worry about :) The other day i put a REALLY cute outfit on with wedge heels, and brian said to take the shoes off, because he doesnt like me in heels, because it doesnt suit me. Hahahaa. just not used to it, is all!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)