Wow, this is a weird question to answer. its taken me a minute to narrow it down. But i think i have it, so here we go!
Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given.
I have been given alot of shabby advice when it comes to preparing for deployment, and staying strong during deployment, and the excitement and anticipation of coming home..... The shabby advice just comes from the lack of experience in the military life style. I try to listen to everyones point of view, and the ones closest to me always know what to say. Its the distant friends that decide to say something like "Oh its just a couple of more months".... well, thats just not something you say to someone who is trying to seek support. If you have no idea what you are talking about, as i don't alot of the time, I just try to agree and go along with what they say, to help them with support in their situations. Now given that i said all of this and strayed off of my subject of writting, i did not chose to write about military advice.
As most of you know, I have horrible anxiety. It flares up for no reason and i become paranoid. My anxiety hinders me from alot of things. It hinders me from taking classes at the gym, it hinders me from more things than i can explain. I can't carry a glass without feeling as if it is going to break in my hand and cut it up. I cannot go around a propane tank without thinking that it will blow up at any given moment. I can't wait out in the car at a gas station at night without thinking that I am going to get mugged, or the store is going to get robbed and Brian is going to die inside. Those are just a few of my daily anxiety triggers. If you don't have anxiety please thank your lucky stars, you truly have been blessed. I have germ anxiety and It hinders me from taking the kids to the family room at the gym now. They are so accustomed to hand sanitizer that its second nature to them to stick out their hands once they are in the car seat from getting out of a shopping cart. Its a horrible thing to have, anxiety.
Now since i am on the subject that i received the worst advice ever, and made me change the way I felt about a friend was this " I think you need to seek help for your anxiety, I am worried about you". Now at the time, I could have punched a hole in her. I was irate and livid and by her saying that, she made me feel like a psycho. Did i over react? Did i end a friendship for no reason? Not necessarily. Can I see where she was coming from by saying that, yes.
I feel like real friends would know where you are coming from, and not push you to expand your anxiety horizons. I dont feel like saying "YOU NEED HELP" to someone is acceptable. I feel that friends have the right to feel that way, and i really thank the for feeling for me, but I am fine at where i am. i have my anxiety under control. But if you truly are worried about me, you could say it a different way! Sometimes I feel like she may have been right at saying it at that time, because i was in a bad place with anxiety, but its about how she gave me the advice. It felt like she had just told me that i need to check myself in at a crazy house because I am nuts, and she is worried for my life. It pushed me away.
Anxiety is nothing to mess around with and tread lightly when giving advice to someone about it. Its like telling an alcoholic they need to get help. Its something that needs to gradually happen, and you need to realize it and help yourself.
So now that i dug deep and i feel a little out of place, that is it for that blog! haha. Thats all for the day, 3 blogs in one..... wow.
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